Waking Up in the Middle of Life

There I was. Living my life like I was supposed to. Doing what was expected. Accepting normal as reality.

And then I woke up.

That’s why I’m here.

I’ve had a good life. Married my best friend. Worked with amazing people. Lived in wonderful places. But I’ve often felt as though something were missing, something I just couldn’t identify. It wasn’t anything horrible, just a gnawing of emptiness, knowing something wasn’t being fulfilled or was out of place.

And then I woke up.

That’s when I saw it.

I suddenly realized that I’d spent my entire life dedicated to promoting the fulfillment of the dreams of others. Whether entering the college type of my parent’s choice, spending countless hours of overtime working with the ministries of today’s religious leaders, or supporting my husband through grad school, everything I did was for a greater good, a benefit to a bigger picture. The black hole I felt was in what I didn’t do.

I didn’t allow myself to fully dream. I didn’t allow myself to follow my heart. I didn’t allow myself to say what I thought needed to be said, go where I thought I should go, or be who I desperately dreamed to be.

That’s when I sat up.

After much encouragement from my husband, I made a decision to change.

This is the journey of my change. The story of my quest. The map to my future.