Following the light

For the past few weeks… several months… year and a half, I’ve hated getting up for work every morning. The people are okay, but I feel as though I’m mindlessly spinning my wheels while my real life is out there, somewhere, waiting for me.

Finally, I’d had enough. So after several weeks of praying seriously about the matter, I began to feel some peace, I recognized the next few steps that I needed to take to get to my dreams and I began seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Last night I went to bed earlier than normal, around eight o’clock, slept sound, and for the first time in a long time, I woke up bright and early this morning: excited and ready to plunge myself into my work.

As Toby was driving me into work, on this chilly morning, I felt anticipation as I mentally organized my day into areas of progress. And then it hit me. Literally. Flying in from the right was a speeding truck, flashing through a stop sign and ramming our vehicle just past the passenger’s door. As our suburban began spinning across four lanes and finally wedged itself into the sidewalk across the street, I thought… Is this a joke? Where are the cameras? The one day I am positive about going to work and we get hit by a truck?

At this point, I’d like to wax philosophical and ask questions like: How often do we think we have finally begun to “get it together” and something totally unexpected throws us completely off track? But the truth of the matter is, I’m just tired, sore, and confused.

Was it a sign that I should continue to gaze longingly out the window of my office, wishing I were elsewhere? Does it mean that I need to be happy with where I am? Or could it be simply that there was a lot of ice and the other driver was speeding?

I still believe that my real life is waiting for me. And I believe that I’m in the process of finding my way there. Perhaps this is just a detour or a opportunity to slow down and pack a few extra bags. Either way, I’m going to realign myself, get back on the road and keep traveling forward. If I look closely, I believe I can still see the light.