End of the Spear

Over the past week, I’ve felt an increased awareness of God’s stirring, guiding me into a new and welcome direction. While I’ve felt his pull before, as he always seems to do, this time seems brand new. I’ve prayed and fasted, studied and cried for an awakening, and I believe he’s beginning to answer my call.

All week long my mind has been captured with thoughts that lead me far beyond my present life: I’ve received a new burden for people I tolerated, a deeper vision for the supernatural and fresh hunger for the word of God. My drive is not predicated upon what God can do through me or for me, nor am I motivated by its prerequisite for revival. Rather, I’m simply desperate to know Him. And as I continue moving forward with his tugs on my heart, I’m praying that this awakening will revive my previous understanding of who God is and will develop into an overwhelming passion for Him and those around me.

In an amazing culmination of my inner whirlwind, this past weekend I watched one of the best movies I’ve seen in years. It was the true story of a group of missionaries to the Waodani people of the Amazon River. In a beautiful, heart-enthralling weave, End of the Spear, tells a story of savage violence, anger, fear, loss, forgiveness, and redemption, all through the eyes of the young son of a missionary pilot.

As the story unveiled, I began to question my own attempts at being a missionary to the people around me. While I’ve never had anyone hold a machete to my throat or threaten a thrusted spear in my gut, I’ve too faced challenges, fears, and questions, albeit respectively minor. However, I don’t know that I have the passion or calling that these missionaries inevitably shared. I think there was a time when I would have sacrificed all, but sadly, there’s been a waning of my vision, enthusiasm, and conviction.

For years I’ve wanted desperately to move to foreign lands to share life, health, and education with people around the world. However, this week, God has given me a new vision for the people in my own community: for Lorenzo, the neighbor boy who rakes my leaves, for my Wiccan friend, to whom I’m teaching a Bible Study, for the Inupiat people in my region, who face challenges of FAS, Alcoholism, and Depression.

While I’m not heading to the Amazon, I pray that this new passion can redirect the mighty rivers of God’s spirit in me, to bring life to the people along my banks.

(For those interested in this amazing film, please see: www.endofthespear.com)